I had to cut these to fit my baby’s face. Yes I was distraught.

Hi. My name is Elon and I hurt my kid.

Just recently on social media I was discussing baby proofing my office when I was warned by other parents about all the ways you can’t predict your kid getting hurt. I knew that there were various ways in which kids hurt themselves that can’t be foreseen but what I wasn’t expecting was that “I” would be one of those ways.

Quick story:

I’ve started taking my kid out in the morning to give my wife some peace since she works from home. My wife had started driving the kid and I to a cafe/restaurant/juke joint where we would hang out and she’d work via mobile hotspot and I’d be on full Daddy duty. We then head back to the house and put her down for first nap, I start my workday, the Wife ends hers and the passoff happens. So today when we got back for Sids afternoon nap I wanted to get a little time with her on camera for DGP.

She was in a great mood but she’s still a baby; She’s reaching for wires and anything she can to pull or grab. I tried to move the microphone arm away from us so she couldn’t grab it and while doing that the mic arm popped up from its holder and popped Siddy in the eyebrow giving her a cut.

I feel horrible.

Our cd of classic daddy-daughter duets will soon be released… #DGProper #DaddyGameProper

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(You can see the cut on her eyebrow)
Sidney cried, of course, but was calm within a few minutes. I on the other hand was not. I just kept thinking how I screwed up and hurt my one and only child. This wasn’t simply her being wacky and flinging herself around. This was a mistake I made and I caused my child to bleed and possibly have a scar. My wife kept saying “She’s fine. It was an accident. These things happen.” And I kept thinking “SURE. TO TERRIBLE FATHERS. I AM THE WORST FATHER ON THE PLANET.”

I thought I had hurt her once before but in reality what I thought was a bruise caused by me was actually a birth mark. This is the first time she’s been harmed and I was the cause of it. I know I’m overreacting and that if she’s already giving her royal wave within minutes of the incident she’s going to be okay. The issue is that it just reminds me that I really don’t know what’s going to happen ever. Even when I think I’ve planned everything out something odd like a microphone stand might pop out and now I have a hurt child. Anything can happen.


If I’ve ruined her eyebrow forever you can find me weeping in a corner.

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